Evaluating fatloss is really a kind of tricky thing I find. Between the calipers, my 'pantsometer' and the scales, I've more or less deduced that as long as I am heading in the right direction over an average of about 3 weeks, then that's a positive result given that I'm taking the 'tortoise' approach to busting the lard. The scales are a special challenge and I never really know what I'll get if I decide to weigh myself. Now and then I have a happy numbers day and yesterday morning I finally cracked the 5kg mark (woot!) AND someone asked me if I've been losing weight (this was while I was getting into my laptop bag and my pants were gaping out revealing my knickers.. soooo professional). It's becoming a little bit obvious that my body has changed because I've entered the 'between clothes' phase. My old clothes are falling off and I'm not quite fitting into my smaller wardrobe. This requires some inventiveness and has resulted in some truly bohemian fashion choices.
I once lost a lot of weight quickly through low calorie dieting, training with heavy weights, doing lots of cardio and stimulating my metabolism with ephedrine. I looked fabulous but I was in a very unstable place, mentally and physically. As I discovered when I tried to maintain, my metabolism was slopping along at about the level of a hibernating bear and, once I stopped taking the stimulants, my appetitie went truly hog-wild. Apart from the fact that I was a temperamental and emotional mess due to the low carbing and the ephedrine side effects, I also felt 'strange' to myself. The process had been too dramatic. When I looked in the mirror I didn't recognise myself and I lost my sense of how big I was when buying clothes or even doing such things as pulling my chair the right distance to my desk. In my mind I was still bigger. Also I struggled with a 'what now?' sort of inertia. For so long I'd focused everything on reaching a certain body and when I got there it was in fact anticlimactic. I'd assumed in my mind that my life would be fantastic if only I was very lean. To my great surprise I still had to deal with the reality of my daily life (imagine!). It does not suprise me now that I regained the weight.
This time is different. I know that slow fatloss is not for everyone but I am actually enjoying the process immensely. It's the dieting equivalent of wandering slowly through the forest (between workouts, that is!). I'm taking time to check things out like what might be behind the emotional eating tree, for example. I've been asked often if I'll ever write a book on fatloss. This makes me laugh. I'm sure that 'how to lose fat so slowly that you will hardly know you are doing it' would just fly off the shelves. 'Thin thighs in 30 months'? Maybe I could add a spiritual twist - 'Saintly Slimming - develop your patience AND get slim'? Hmmm... needs work....
Losing your sense of how big you are... that's so weird, I had the same thing happen to me, even though I lost weight gradually. It took me months of fitting-room frustration before I could finally make myself grab the size 10 outfit straight away, instead of trying the 12...or 14.
ReplyDeleteThe most dramatic experience I had with 'how much space do I take up?' confusion though was during my pregnancies. Try turning around near furniture or going through doorways when you forget to compensate for the fact that you have an enormous bulging abdomen. Ouch! Amazing my kids weren't black and blue at birth.
At least it gave family and colleagues endless entertainment...