Hell Freezes Over

Yesterday there was a mental conversation between my inner fatty and my inner fit girl (Fitty) that went something like this.

Fatty: Really, this workout thing is a bore and there's too much else to do. Let's just skip it again.
Fitty: But that would mean I've only actually trained three times in the last two weeks.
Fatty: Yeah, but we'll get back to it eventually, today is not a big deal.
Fitty: I should go to the gym. I have no excuse, it's two minutes drive from my house, I actually drive right by it on the way home from work. I've been paying $20 a week and have not been there for over a year, possibly two, closer to three. I'm gonna go to the gym.
Fatty: Yeah, like that's going to happen.
Fitty (packing gym bag): I so gonna do it.
Fatty: nope, I'm not even scared.

Later
Me: I'm late because I went to the gym
Jase: oh, ok.
Two minutes later
Jase: Did hell freeze over and nobody told me about it?

******
Gym report: I'm loving it again. I had an obstacle at the gym. Vanity. I hated getting all sweaty and steamed up in my glasses and I hated my contact lenses almost as much. All that messing around, the discomfort, the blur when I was in the shower, the way my contacts would get all scratchy in the sauna. I soooo appreciate my new eyes at the gym, even though I am noticing things that were maybe best left not seen, like the gunge around the shower head. It's so much quicker without having to piss around with the little, near invisible bits of plastic that would inevitably need to be rehydrated, removed, washed, cleaned or whatever (or slip from my fingers!) just at the most inconvenient moment. Yesterday I did an upper body workout, which nearly killed me and today I did cardio which proved that my fitness isn't really all that stellar right now. My heartbeat rose to 160 just at what used to be a slow jog for me and running at 14kph? Forget it! Way to embarrass myself. There is room for improvement, you might say.

Oh! I had a sauna moment. I was lying on the 'top shelf' and a very sweaty woman came in and lay on the lower shelf. I had a towel around me because well, I'm modest if there are other people in there, but she was all nude and had her feet toward my head, and for god knows what reason, knees up and -uh- ankles apart. When I opened my eyes I was in the perfect position to give my opinion on the brazilian, which was quite traumatising for my poor little mind. As far as I know this experience has not turned me gay.