Wedding 3.. (scroll past the flu-ridden rambling)

I've had a few hurdles on the way to getting this post..er.. posted. Firstly, I had mostly written it and saved it on a 'dongle', which has gone all moody about needing to be formatted. The Programmer is currently trying to at least extract my uni stuff from it. I'm trying to stay calm .. ('ohhhhm'). Secondly, I came down with some horrendous flu of the nausea/vomiting/snot-ridden/headachey/muscle fatigue type right before flying home. Needless to say, the two 11 hour flights, followed by a connection from Auckland to Chch, could be accurately described as 'very un-fun'. I was advised in Korea (by an airport retail employee) to try and look a bit less sick or they might not let me on the second flight. Apparently there has been an outbreak of swine flu in NZ and any kiwi's are suspected to be germ ridden. Today is an improvement, I don't have the piggy flu, I've just got a normal thing that you catch from pre-schoolers. Miss J just started big girls kindy (5-7 years) and caught a similar bug, so it's not a mystery where my lurgy came from. I got it from foreign children, who turn out to be just as germy as the local ones.

Anyway, I have a final wedding story full of tradition and Dom Perignon.

After wedding #2 we had a fabulous, over-the-top wedding feast, which featured what seemed to be bottomless self-filling wine glasses. I'd been pre-warned by the groom that it was tradition for the bride to be kidnapped by male friends of the groom. It works like this. The groomsmen are allowed to kidnap the bride and take her wherever they like to have a few drinks. There is a rule. They must also take the flowers. If they can't take the flowers, they can't take the bride. Should the bride get kidnapped, it is up to the best man and bridesmaid to find her and she could be anywhere. Once found, the best man must pay for any drinks that the bride and kidnappers have managed to imbibe. I actually think that the bridesmaid usually also contributes, financially, but they let me off seeing as my kiwi dollars don't go far in Europe. Poor Alex. As bridesmaid, it was my duty to mind the bride and/or the flowers, however as the bride was always nicking off for a sneaky cigarette, it wasn't that easy. I was following her around like a puppy, and was only partly suspicious when, quite late in the evening, one of the groom's brothers asked me for a dance. I fixed the Programmer with a stern look and instructed him not to let the bride run off, but half-way through the dance, he came sprinting over to let me know that she had just absconded with a bunch of 'strange men' (so very descriptive). At least he remembered it was a yellow car, possibly an audi.

I ran off in search of Alex, who was already running around in search of me, and we rushed outside only to find that his car was not where he had left it. Such forward planning! Having secured a loan car we took off into Vaduz with absolutely no idea where the bride was or who she was with. Naturally I was of no help whatsover and could only offer limited advice, such as perhaps we could park up in central Vaduz and run around all the bars? I was on lookout for the audi and doing CSI interrogations.. is a long car, short car, what shade of yellow, do you know the numberplate?? Alex, sensing impending doom to his wallet, started phoning around anyone he could think of that might have been in the kidnapper group. Usually the bridesmaid would phone the bride, but, of course, neither myself nor the bride had our phones with us. Finally he got hold of one of them and was informed 'we are at the place with the most expensive champagne in Vaduz'. After uttering a few swear words (in English, for my benefit), Alex had a brainwave. We made a sting attack on Bar Real and found a group of six smug looking guys, the bridal flowers and one grinning bride in the middle of their second bottle of Dom Perignon . As soon as we walked in, they ordered another bottle (estimated impacted on poor Alex's finances - about NZ$1200) and I was handed not one, but two full glasses. After that, the evening took on a definite floaty glow, in which I took great pleasure in informing anyone and everyone that I'd just drunk about 4 glasses of very expensive champers and that it was delicious and one of the best experiences of my life.

We delivered the bride back to her wedding celebrations to a round of applause and proceeded to party on. Some time after midnight, I was feeling the downside of too many drinks and headed home to be immediately confronted with Liechtenstein tradition #2 - the house trash, which in this case represented a truly impressive effort to cover every internal surface with paper shredding and polystyrene balls. Words don't really do it justice, so I got out the flip and made a little vid.

Needless to say, the next day cleanup was quite mega. Miss J's room had not been 'decorated' and she was completely disappointed. During the cleanup she made a good effort to deliver as many armloads as possible into her room. So cute.