Infinite Self - Follow Up Step Five

Ten days ago, I made a list of 10 things to do differently for 10 days as part of the 33 disciplines from The Infinite Self.  The days have passed and it's time for a check-in. 

1. Habit: Leaving many windows and documents open on my computer. I can't bear to close them in case I never find it again!!  New Behaviour: Have a maximum of three things open on the computer at any one time.

This has been a tough habit to break, but right now I've got five windows open - this one (Blogger), a flute music MP3 which is playing, flute sheet music, gmail and IS9 on the Foodsafety site, which I'll need today. This is significant improvement, and I intend to stick with it. After all, it's only possible to work adequately on one thing at a time. It's also been easier to shut down the computer at the end of the day. This is surely better for the planet than observing that it will take 15 minutes to bookmark, save and close everything and deciding to just leave the thing on overnight.

2. Habit: Piling things up on my bedside table until it's a constant effort to stop the pile falling over. New Behaviour: Keep the bedside table free of clutter.

Better.  As reading in bed is perhaps my favourite thing, there will always be diverse reading materials close at hand.  I have replaced the nasty wax candles with non-toxic soy ones. The sunglasses are my blue-blockers. I wear them when I'm reading, and it helps my brain get ready for sleep.

Here's a 'before and after'. Yes, I know. You don't really need to say it. :-/

3. Habit: Whining.  New Behaviour: Go 48 hours without making a single complaint or negative/judgemental statement (no whining).

Didn't manage it.  Maybe I need to lower the bar. Start with 15 minutes?  It did shock me how difficult this is, and how often my conversations with people are a whinefest. Isn't anyone happy anymore?  Needs work.

4. Habit: Same coffee shop. New Behaviour: Go to a different coffee shop every time I go out for coffee.

Achieved and enjoyed it.  I checked out the new C1 and Fava. This process was made a lot easier by my usual coffee shop becoming practically inaccessible due to earthquake repairs.   

5. Habit: Talking about myself. New Behaviour: Listen, ask people about themselves.

Getting there... people are interesting! I struggle with how to do this and not seem like I'm interrogating with a list of questions or getting too personal: "so, where are you from, what do you do for a job? Are you married? do you have kids? what are your hobbies? do you play an instrument? What's a nice person like you doing in this crazy place? I like your shoes, where did you get them?".  

6. Habit: J'adore or Amarige. New Behaviour: Wear at least three different perfumes

Two: Dune (ick) and Christian Dior Dolce Vita (niiice!). 

7. Habit: Same Spotify playlist every evening. New Behaviour: Listen only to music I've not heard before.

Discovered: Yothu Yindi.  I also tried just listening to the Spotify top 100, or randomly selecting an album from 'just added', but this often made me want to put tape over my ears.  I fell back on searching 'classical' or 'flute duets' and fulfilled my obligation that way.  

8. Habit: Never making time for craftwork, putting if off. New behaviour: Attend a craft workshop (I've booked in for a dollmaking workshop.. hahahahaha, oh man, I hope I can pull this off).

Dolls almost made:  1. 

My dolly is a work-in-progress. It's going to be a daffodil marionette puppet, can you tell? 

Attending a storytelling and dollmaking workshop was the best part of this 10 day shake-up because it attacked my comfort zone in many ways (people I don't know, will they like me?! OMG I can't sew! I don't even have the time for this!), and that was the main point of the 10 day exercise.  The class was such a good time, sitting around with a bunch of awesome women, talking and hand sewing.  It was one of those 'yes, I've been missing this in my life' experiences.

I also went to a 'Chakradance' workshop yesterday. To be honest, although the facilitator was lovely, I didn't connect with Chakradance at all, and won't be continuing with it (Nia has my heart). However, at the end of the class we drew a Mandala, and that was fun.

I thought mine was quite ok, until realising that my vortexes resemble '666'. Demonic mandala was not the goal.  It's swirling energy! You can see that, right? Tell me I'm not the anti-christ.

9. Habit: Down the river, around the health centre. New Behaviour: Take a different route on my daily walk.

Done!  Nothing much to report, except that I had to think harder about where to walk and how long it would take. Other parts around here are just as cool, but not as quiet, so I'll probably return to my regular path.

10. Habit: Must be Plugged In. New Behaviour: Have two technology-free days.

Complete fail. Will try again while on holiday in a few weeks.

*****************************

Overall, this was a worthwhile exercise, and something I'll repeat soon, with different challenges. Next time I'll make the list shorter; ten things was a few too many. I think five would be about right.

Thanks for your comments on the 23 and Me post. I guess I'm not the only one that likes to go all Sherlock Holmes on my own chromosomes! 

Next post: Paleo bacon maple banana pancakes. Here's a preview, please try not to lick the screen :D

Doing Things Differently - Infinite Self

The Infinite Self

Lately, I've been missing ol' Stuie's daily ramblings quite a lot.  I got a bit down, a bit depressed, my bottom lip sagged: who's going to inspire me now?  

...pout.....

And then, in my mind's eye, I imagined Stuie giggle and do a facepalm.  

You see, his basic message was always I'm not a guru, you don't need me, you don't need anyone, don't lean, you can, you must, do it yourself. The energy that inspired every 'guru' that ever lived, including the famous ones like Jesus and Buddah, is the same energy that exists today.  It's not exclusive. It's not for the elite.  It's there for everyone that's willing to put in the work. Time to get cracking, Boogaloo.

I've started with two things:

1) Daily meditative practice. I can now confirm that with meditation, like fitness, if you don't use it, you lose it.  I used to meditate easily for an hour, but now after five minutes I'm watching a stream of thoughts about work, food, why the cat is making that noise, if the courier will turn up in time, and so on..ad infinitum... The most amusing intrusive thoughts are "yay, I'm meditating!!" thoughts.  I manage a certain level of peace, and then get so excited about having done it that I immediately snap myself back to normal wakefulness.   :-/  Yeah.  That's a C minus in yogi-ness.

2) I picked up 'The Infinite Self', which is a Stuie book that outlines 33 steps or disciplines of personal growth that are based on Taoism. Instead of speed reading like I usually do, I'm spending five days on each step and am up to step seven.

What is the Infinite Self? It sounds a bit woo, but essentially, it's you. You might say, the real you.

"First you sell the ego-personality the idea as an intellectual principle. Then through discipline, meditation, opening yourself up, moving beyond fear – through coming to a more compassionate understanding of this planet – you finally comprehend the Infinite Self as feeling. Then you’ll be able to say, “Yep, I feel eternal, immortal, and infinite. I feel I am everywhere and nowhere, I dwell in the realm of spirit.”

Next, it’s important to grasp, early on, that spiritual growth is not necessarily convenient or comfortable. This is not only because you have to discard an awful lot of your beliefs and definitions – things you hold sacrosanct – but also because you can’t get to the Infinite Self without traveling back through the physchological and metaphysical reality of who you are and the memories of what you have done in this lifetime". - Stuart Wilde

Step five involves an exercise of breaking up habitual behaviours. It's taken me a while to figure this one out, because it's not about fixing things, but about shaking the mind out of routines. These don't need to be things that need improving (although some of mine are), just things that have become a mindless exercise and could be done differently.  It helps one to live more consciously and is certainly relevant if you want to stay healthy in a world that relentlessly tries to manipulate you into automatic food choices and laziness.

I've made a list of 10 things that I do habitually, and how I'm going to shake it up for the next 10 days (so, until the 21st). It's simple stuff. I'm not aiming for complete brain overhaul.

1. Habit: Leaving many windows and documents open on my computer. I can't bear to close them in case I never find it again!!  New Behaviour: Have a maximum of three things open on the computer at any one time.

2. Habit: Piling things up on my bedside table until it's a constant effort to stop the pile falling over. New Behaviour: Keep the bedside table free of clutter.

3. Habit: Whining.  New Behaviour: Go 48 hours without making a single complaint or negative/judgemental statement (no whining).

4. Habit: Same coffee shop. New Behaviour: Go to a different coffee shop every time I go out for coffee.

5. Habit: Talking about myself. New Behaviour: Listen, ask people about themselves.

6. Habit: J'adore or Amarige. New Behaviour: Wear at least three different perfumes**

7. Habit: Same Spotify playlist every evening. New Behaviour: Listen only to music I've not heard before.

8. Habit: Never making time for craftwork, putting if off. New behaviour: Attend a craft workshop (I've booked in for a dollmaking workshop.. hahahahaha, oh man, I hope I can pull this off).

9. Habit: Down the river, around the health centre. New Behaviour: Take a different route on my daily walk.

10. Habit: Must be Plugged In. New Behaviour: Have two technology-free days.

** I tried 'Dune' by Christian Dior and it definitely disrupted my routine because I couldn't stand it.  Nor could I make it go away!  Have you ever tried to wash off a perfume?  They are made to stick.  I spent half a day wishing I could just leave my body somewhere and walk away.  Next time, I'll test-smell before applying liberally.

What about you? Any automatic behaviours you'd like to try changing up for a week or so?

Links

The Infinite Self on Zen Haven
To Buy from SW.com (I am not affiliated)

Contradiction and Expectancy

I loved this so much, I had to re-blog from Zen-Haven

Contradiction and Expectancy
(by Stuart Wilde)

It’s a three-fold gain when you understand how contradictions of life affect you. First, you can eliminate some of them immediately.

Second, you can design your life to avoid most of them. Third, you can develop tools that allow you to accept, unemotionally, those contradictions you can’t avoid.

Doing these three things, you return to your natural god-like state, serene, happy, and entertained by the wonder and grace of this strange gift we call life.

How do these contradictions arise?

Most of them are just inherent to our programming. The human personality exists in strange cyberspace, hovering above the ground at five to six feet or slightly more, trapped in nowhere land, some place in the brain.

Strange, isn’t it? We all think we’re here. In fact we are a hovercraft with no landing gear! The human personality never actually lands on earth. Even if you stand on your head, your personality is still somewhere beyond the thickness of your skull above the ground. That sets up an uncomfortable contradiction.

Your personality has to use the body as its link between the infinite cyberspace in which it dwells, and the earthly dimension from which its experiences flow.

The body is finite. Death is the ultimate contradiction. It is natural, therefore, that most people feel a bit insecure.

Life, for many, is a futile attempt to become secure in a dimension that is intrinsically insecure. People constantly fight that, rather than accept the strangeness of the human lesson as a beautiful thing.

We have to embrace infinity inside a mortal body.

We have to learn to love in a dimension where there is so much hatred.

We have to see abundance when people constantly talk of shortages
and lack.

We have to discover freedom where control is the state religion.

We have to develop self-worth while people criticize and belittle us.

We have to see beauty where there is ugliness.

We have to embrace kindness and positive attitudes when surrounded
by uncertainty.

We have to feel safe in spite of our concerns.

Yes, the heroism of our condition is most endearing.
Transcendence is nothing more than learning to accept the contradictions of life without resistance.

Embracing these contradictions is not natural to us. In fact we are taught as children to resist. So, for example, as a small child you were programmed to believe that being wet and cold was a negative experience.

If your mother ever left you standing in the rain, you probably reacted emotionally and cried. Now, as an adult, you may have the same programmed negative reaction to getting wet. Around it hover all the variables : rain ruins your clothes and messes with your hair, rain is uncomfortable as it runs down your neck, rain is cold, cold makes you sick, and so on.

So one mass of energy in your mind says, we have to be cozy, warm and comfortable, to feel positive, happy and secure. Then along comes the rain. Now it’s belting down and you’re miles from shelter. Suddenly circumstances — the cold wet conditions — contradict your opinion or desire.

Now two masses have established a relationship in your mind, each pulling on the other. Negative emotion flows from the contradiction generated by the cold rain. But is it the rain that is negative?

Or is it just your reaction to the rain that causes the contradiction? Water falling from above has no intrinsic quality — positive or negative. When you took a shower this morning you weren’t moaning and groaning.

‘Ah! But that was hot water.’
‘So, it’s the temperature of the water that’s bothering you is it?’ ‘Precisely.’

But what if you just accept cold water as a part of life? Sometimes it rains. You can get angry and resist, or you can relax and just ‘do’ rain. The circumstances haven’t changed — your reaction has.

As soon as you agree to ‘do’ rain and stop resisting, the rain becomes warmer and gradually more comfortable. Eventually, you can ‘do’ rain indefinitely and even enjoy it.

If you have never ‘done’ rain, try this : put out your finest clothes, including your most expensive shoes, and wait. When it starts to rain, dress up and step out, walking steadily, head held high. Don’t bat an eyelid. Have no opinion, keep walking, love the rain, accept it, make it your friend.

The rain disappears, in your mind anyway. While you are ‘doing’ rain, you can amuse yourself by watching others ‘not doing’ rain properly. There’s a bit of fun in that.

If you can’t bring yourself to ‘do’ rain immediately, at least regularly make the ego do things that contradict it. Start small. Take cold showers. Give away your overcoat, wear fewer clothes.

Stop talking about the weather altogether. Don’t comment on conditions, just experience them. After all, when people say it’s cold, what do they mean? They mean it is colder than their expectation. In effect, there is no hot and cold, only temperature that rises and falls sometimes.

All of life’s circumstances, like the rain, are neutral. Life has no particular quality, positive or negative, other than the labels we give it. Never forget that.

Even death is neutral. We have no way of knowing how we might react to death. Perhaps life is really crummy compared to death. The hand-wringing and anguish we suffer is probably all for nothing. I have a sneaky suspicion that graduating from the earth plane may be one heck of a celebration.

It’s the programmed expectancy that stuffs us up and causes us pain. Not the circumstances.

Expectancy sets up the possibility of contradictions.

Yes, we expect the best, but we must learn not to react when we don’t get what we want. If you are diligent, and you concentrate and take right action, you’ll most likely always get the best result. But you must love life and accept it when it doesn’t go your way.

Be heroic, become a warrior. When faced with an adverse situation, don’t react, just accept it. Act calmly. Act powerfully. If you don’t know what to do immediately, do nothing — wait until the answer comes to you.

Be mature and take the emotion out of situations. Act in the strongest way possible, given the situation. You can easily train your personality to ‘do’ life rather than fight it. Don’t be a self-indulgent wimp.

Sometimes life isn’t cozy, safe or guaranteed. If you’re up to your eyes in muck and bullets, first ‘do’ bullets then ‘do’ muck.

It’s so simple. It’s our silly expectancy and the ego’s self-importance that demands things have to be one way or the other. That’s what causes us all the pain — not life itself.

Life is mostly guesswork. You will usually guess more or less right, and sometimes you’ll guess wrong. When you guess wrong, don’t react — love your mistakes, and don’t beat yourself up.

Hey! You thought you had enough gas in the car and you didn’t, so now you’re ‘doing’ walking. So what.

Just walk.

© 2013 Stuart Wilde

Stuie

This is one of those deeply personal blog posts that happen about.. once every two years or so ;) Maybe I should put more of myself out there but, you know, I tend to think there's too much of that these days and nobody really needs to hear the minutiae of my personal/spiritual journey.

Besides which, some of it may be a bit 'out there', and I'm not quite ready to be labelled a crack-pot just yet (maybe next month, huh?).

Today I'm going to talk a little about this guy, I'm sure some of you have heard of him.

This is Stuart Wilde (www.stuartwilde.com). His book 'Affirmations' was the first thing I ever read that made me realise life could be both spiritual and completely down to earth. You don't need to live on a mountain to gain enlightenment; just start where you are. This is where you are supposed to be.

Do what you do, but do it impeccably. Connect with people and honour the divine spark in them. Honour yourself.  Don't take anything too seriously. Infiltrate everything with love. These ideas resonated with me, echoed what I had already been studying (such as the Anthroposophical works of Rudolf Steiner) and so I commenced reading everything he had written. I also took up spiritual exercises and personal disciplines like meditation and viewing my fellow humans with compassion and without judgement (20 years later, I'm not even half-way there with the non-judgement thing... I'm a bit thick sometimes).

From his books I learned the most important skill of my life, which is to question my own thoughts and automatic actions/reactions and to see the thoughts and actions of others in a different light. Just because I think it, even if I "believe it", that doesn't mean it's true, and doesn't mean it originates from me. I may have done things a certain way all my life, but that doesn't mean I can't wake up today and do something completely different. He taught me how to handle my mind and emotions through the discipline of detachment. Very useful.

I did some training with 'Stuie' in the early 90's when he came to NZ and we had some drinks in the First Edition Bar (the old Park Royal, which is now a pile of earthquake rubble). I can't remember  anything about that except laughing so hard my face ached.  Once the internet came along, I kept in touch with fellow 'fringe dwellers' via forums, most of which didn't last long due to the annoyance of internet trolls, something Stuie had no tolerance for.  Over the past decade I wandered away from Stuie's ideas, as his direction and mine diverged - I'm not interested in Ayahuasca and couldn't make up my mind about the focus on ghoulls, darkness and trinkets. However, in the middle of last year I picked up 'The Sixth Sense' and started reading again, feeling like it was time for me to re-establish my connection to what I suppose is my inner self after many years attention to external things. Shortly after that I accidentally reconnected with Anthroposophy also. 

Over the last few months, it has been my happy habit to log on to the Stuart Wilde blog every morning and see what he'd come up with.  Often it would be just the thing to set me right, like this gem: Emotional Techniques for Healing Yourself, or something touching and lovely: Bullfighter Quits from Compassion. 

This one, In Quest of the Spotless Mind, alarmed me. A lot. I thought 'that's angina', googled the symptoms to confirm my suspicions, and wondered if I should send a bossy email telling him to get to a doctor. I wish I'd done it, even though I doubt he would have paid attention, and even though I'm sure I wasn't the only one concerned about his health, because 6 days later he suffered a fatal heart attack and the blogging stopped forever.

So now he's gone.  No more writing, no more funny videos.  Of course, the man himself would consider death a big adventure, but there is still some sadness over here in '3-D'. We will miss his presence, it was big and warm, irreverent, fierce and irreplaceable.

Here are some links:

Getting What you Want (probably my favourite video of his, very to the point)

The Tears of Gaia

My Friend Stuart by Soren Dreier (also that site, zen-haven.com has a lot of good stuff on it).

If you find any more, please feel free to link them up in the comments. 

Regular programming will resume in a few days. :D