Failure, Glorious Failure

If there's one thing I learned from ol' Stuie, it's the absolute ok-ness of accepting, acknowledging and even embracing ones failings as a human being, even while working to overcome them.

It's ok. Everyone is messed up. No biggie.

For example, I've just started the post-semester cleaning mission and realised, yet again, that I'm kind of deficient at maintaining household organisation.  My offices are pedantically neat and orderly, but in the living areas, stuff tends to pile up.

My kitchen table is still covered in work and study stuff and there is usually a wet cat on the clean, warm-from-the-dryer washing.

In theory, I could be moved.  I guess you just need to ask yourself how much you value your hand.

It's not entirely my fault.  The kitch is being pulled apart right now because the council sent a nice letter telling me that the fire is 15 years old and no longer legal. The logical thing is to install a wetback at the same time as replacing the fire with a more planet friendly one.

This requires removing walls and finding alternate places to stash the sheets and so on (see first pic).

So, there's that.  I'll never be a satisfactory housewife.  *shrugs* I'm sure there are worse things. :D

Also, for the second time, today I failed at coconut whipped cream. Other bloggers make this look easy, so please head over to Angela's tutorial to see how this 'should' go.

To set the tone, I started by opening the wrong end of the can.

Then the right end.  I scooped the still solid coconut cream into the processor, then spent 20 minutes emptying the kitchen cupboards looking for the beater attachments.

Which, as it turns out, were not up to the job.

Should have let the coconut cream warm up a bit first? Impatience only leads to breaking things.

I dove back into the alternate universe of my under-bench spaces and eventually located old faithful.

This beater is at least as old as me. It's viciously quaint and lacks modern devices like an automatic kill switch. A few years ago I was holding the beater part in my hand while fiddling with the buttons in a 'hmmm, I wonder what this switch does?' manner.

WRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

That would have been quite funny if it hadn't stung so badly and left me with fat fingers for a week.

Even under the onslaught of old faithful, my coconut cream never got further than this sad mess:

I'm doing something wrong.  Can someone enlighten me? Vegan readers, I'm sure you know the magic trick that makes it work. Save me, please.

I hope your weekend is going fabulously.  Here it's grey and rainy but the office is warm and I'm browsing flight prices.... ;)  I predict some adventure in my near future.

Travelling Light

Travelling is stressful. Fun, yes; but still stressful. Psychologically, humans are most relaxed around familiar things and heading out into the unknown is, well, the opposite of that. For anyone with food or weight issues, travelling can be a minefield of difficulties, mostly revolving around a loss of control. You don’t know what you will eat, or when, or  how to shop for what you want in the local language.  Ironically, getting all anxious and stressy about these things can add the impetus of stress eating on top of the usual holiday indulgences.

At the height of my own eating problems, I became so nervous about travel weightgain that I preferred not to travel. During this time, I took a trip to Amsterdam, the travel journal of which is notable not for recording the Anne Frank house and live sex-shows, but for documenting every morsel that passed my lips and every body-related neurotic thought that crossed my mind. Sad, sad, sad. I also spent time with The Programmer in England (he was working there) and gained 5 kg, mostly because I was attempting to stick to an overly rigid 1200 calorie a day regime and bingeing when I could not. I took a trip to the Gold Coast, which I remember for fervently sticking to my Marisa Peer ‘no grains, no dairy’ religion, which also required listening daily to a hypnosis track. Gawd.

Over the years, I’ve slowly learned how to travel without bringing home extra baggage on my butt.  I’ve also collected a few tips from fellow travellers. 

Here are our top 10 NO EXTRA BAGGAGE tips:

1. Keep it real. Although you 'could' spend a month in Europe and not touch a croissant or a slice of pizza, you probably won't, and it's helpful to acknowledge that in advance.  Ditto for your fitness regime. You 'might' do your resistance band workouts  in the space between beds in the hostel, but a walk around town is more likely.  Don't burden yourself with rules that will make you miserable. Be adaptable and trust yourself to make the right decisions in any situation.

2. Set your goal.  What is your plan? If it's a short holiday, you might elect to ditch all your usual rules, indulge yourself and deal with the consequences when you get back. If it's a longer trip then you might want to feel a bit more organised. How I roll is to try and stick to meal times (breakfast, lunch, afternoon snack, dinner) - which stops me nibbling mindlessly all day long. My goal is to maintain my weight within about a kg of where I was at the start of the holiday. I loosely monitor this through noting the fit of my clothes and by keeping things balanced.

Balancing out last nights dinner with a healthy breakfast - poached egg and salmon on rye bread and a donut (peach)

3. It's a matter of balance. There is no special voodoo to holiday kg's. It's an input-output thing, just like regular life, so try to keep your head on. If you ate pain au chocolat for breakfast, don't panic and think that it heralds a day of mindless noshing. Lighten it up at lunch with a salad.  You can think ahead. I did this in Verbania. I knew I'd want to enjoy the buffet breakfast, so ate lightly at dinner the night before. Travel days can vary in activity levels. A day of climbing steps in Bellagio could easily justify pasta at dinner time, but a lazy day at the beach might not. My favourite way to deal with fattening meals is to go all 'French Women Don't Get Fat' and apply the 50% rule. Eat half. I do this all the time with pasta. Eat half of what comes on the plate and pair it with a salad.

Eat half.

Balancing out a fresh croissant with a fresh peach. Both fabulous.

4. Choose your indulgences. Some things are worth it, some things aren't.  A chocolate donut at Starbucks is not a local delicacy. A homemade apfelstrudel at a historic coffee house in Vienna, is. Most of the time, the bread that comes before dinner is not worth it. Vending machine chocolate bar, not worth it. Locally made grappa served at the end of a fantastic meal? Worth it.

5. The first three bites are the best (eat like a child). This is my favourite trick. Just because you order it, does not mean you have to eat the WHOLE THING. I learned this from my niece. She will beg for something that caught her eye, then eat one or two spoonfuls. The chef may be offended, but a child does not care about this, and nor should you.

Chocolate pear cake. This is all I ate. The best bit from the end.

6. Go Fresh. Not all indulgences are baked, fried or alcoholic. Markets are colourful and tasty. As I like to travel to warm places, there are usually summer fruit and berries available.

7. Pack a snack. Carrying something healthy like some almonds, an apple or a dried fruit bar can help with those moments when you are hungry but the available food is not appealing. For example, on the Lago Maggiore ferry boat the choices were icecream or all sorts of long-life pastries in packets with bazillions of calories and a long list of additives. No thanks.

8. Hydrate carefully. Drink lots of water and not too many creamy coffees or calorie-packed alcoholic beverages. Liquid calories can make or break your holiday waistband.

9. Make your needs known (weight related or not). I don't eat nightshades - potatoes, tomatoes, eggplants or peppers. Learning a few phrases like Salat mit keine tomaten is very helpful. If you have allergies, religious requirements, or intend to stick to your vegan or zucker-free diet, then you'd better learn how to express that in the local language. 

The two on the right are to my requirements. The other one has evil nightshades.

I should mention that it was not completely possible to avoid all nightshades and there were some nights when I had that particular joint pain that indicates I've eaten something containing potato flour or capsicums. If you have a life-threatening allergy, I would be inclined to avoid restaurants unless you have a skilled language speaker that can negotiate with the chef.

10. Relax. It is an unfortunate paradox of stress eating that the more stressed an emotional eater gets, the more they eat - even if the thing that's stressing them is weight or food. When I sense those little stressed out thoughts infringing on my fun, I like to RBT (rational behaviour therapy) them away with contradicting statements like "I'm actually doing well, considering this is challenging for me", "It will all be fine", "I will eat a light dinner", "I did a lot of exercise today", "I'm not indulging any negative thoughts today", "I am going to focus on my adventures, not weight" and "shut up, I'm on holiday". If I have really overdone it (hey, it happens), I use "what I choose to do now can make the situation worse or better, it's up to me". The trick is to not let a little overindulgence become a full-holiday binge. 

I hope these tips are helpful. Don't be scared of travel, it is one of the most worthwhile things to do in life and with a bit of forethought, it is not difficult to come home with an expanded mind, rather than an expanded belly. You can do it!

Travel Blog

There are a few more posts in the Travel Blog!

Guilty, Guilty Pleasure..

I’ve been itching to bake/non-bake this chocolate torte for ages and today seemed the perfect day for it. We are embarking on a furious three days in Italy as of tomorrow and the weather is again a bit grey, so a relaxing hour in the kitch seemed just the thing.

Almost immediately, things began to de-simplify. Apart from the sugar, a deep search of Sistasana’s cupboards revealed none of the other ingredients. I headed off to the COOP to stock up, but had to take a reality check. Spending 70CF (nearly $100 NZD at the current scary exchange rate) of my travel budget on ingredients for one cake, especially when those ingredients would sit untouched once I leave on Tuesday, seemed…. not completely smart. I decided to grab a few essential things and improvise the rest with what was available.

The resulting recipe was a major modification of the original one. In fact, when considered in light of the ‘Oh She Glows’ recipe, it would be more correct to call it ‘inspired by’. The main thing is that I de-veganised the torte in just about every way possible (and must surely posture, scrape and offer penance to the goddesses of veganism). In the base, I used butter instead of oil and left out the maple syrup. In the filling I replaced half the avocado with crème fraiche and used nutella instead of both maple syrup and peanut butter (inventive, right?). I used organic white flour and organic granular sugar – half brown/half white and added a vial of Dr Oetker’s vanilla butter essence to the filling.

From the outset, I knew that one thing would mean death to my torte, and that was the presence of ANY visible green bits of avocado, no matter how miniscule. I constructed the torte in private so that nobody saw anything healthy going in to it. The merest hint of green and it would have been rejected my both my sister and niece – they are both super sensitive to anything remotely off the mainstream, food-wise. Even with 10 minutes of  electric beating, I could see a few tiny fragments of avocado, so I ended up pushing the topping through a strainer.  It took two hours in the freezer to firm up and a core sample reveals that it is just right in every way and probably as addictive as crack. Once I get back to NZ, I will make it again in its pure, vegan form, just to alleviate my conscience.

You may be thinking that I am spending my holiday eating sweet things and letting my fitness slide. Not so. One of my first purchases was a fantastic yoga mat, which unfortunately I will have to leave here as it is really too large for my luggage. I’ve been making use of it regularly. I’ve also been balancing up the indulgences with healthy, lower-calorie things. I’ve got a whole post on travel eating coming up next, but really my core strategy is super simple:

Instead of eating this every day:

Consider eating this:

It's the first part of a treat that is the best anyway and I'm sure that I don't have to tell you how saving 200+ calories every day will affect the fit of your pants on the plane ride home. It really is the little things that make a big difference over time.

Travel Adventures

There are two more posts in the Travel Blog: Spieleland (playland) and Im Palast (in the palace).

T minus two days

It's just two days and a few hours until I am on that plane to Zurich! In spite of a last minute Psyllium crisis, my confidence is trending toward there still being a business here when I return in August. ;)

The day started in the usual way, with Razzy lying his vast bulk on top of me so that he doesn't miss the crucial moment when I get up and start feeding time at the zoo. However, today things happened a little differently. That's because yesterday, we had a little talk:

'Razzy', I said to him. 'Your butt is so fat that I can't even fit all of you into a single photograph. Have you gained weight?'.

'No', he lied. 'I've got my winter coat on'.

'Ok', I said. 'Let's see how much that coat weighs, shall we?'

(weighing procedure)

'It appears you have gained 500g. If you were a human, this would be no problem, but you are a cat. I'm afraid we must start a militant feline diet protocol immediately'.

I think he was about to protest it, but then got distracted by the idea of lazing in front of the fire.

This morning we began segregated feedings.  I think the problem is that they all get fed together and I don't exactly have time in my day to sit there and watch them finish. I think what is happening is that the others are nibblers (they are all very sleek) and leave food, which Mr Garbage Guts cleans up. Personally I like squishy fat cats, and he is certainly still active enough, but I've seen what overweight does to cats as they age and I don't want that for Razzy. Luckily I have the power. I also have the ability to leave the country for  a month to avoid the incessant cat whining - and he has a loud, loud yowl. 

If anyone has successfully dieted a cat, please let me know how you did it. It's not like I can talk to him about his emotional eating issues... even though he clearly has them. The only approach I can think of is brute force and earplugs.

Today I got the lollypops for the dispatch dept. Look at this!

Whoooooo! 

Forgetting about the excessive packaging and food miles for a minute, these are great. I have sampled... a few. I would have uploaded a photo of me doing this, but bulging eyes and a red face was not a flattering look on me.

Ok, back to it. The to-do list is still a bit longer than I'd like it to be at this phase, but I'm not concerned about all the rushing around because once I get on that plane I've got 36 hours of butt sitting (groooan). That's like... seven or eight movies? Six aeroplane meals? I try not to whinge, because it's a privilege to be able to travel, but long-haul is just not easy. Well, I'm sure it's easy in First Class..... but....

Hearts, parties and curly courgettes

Last weekend The Programmer and I ditched all adult responsibilities and took off to be 'the kids' for a couple of days - as always happens in the company of relatives that have (in my case) known me since the day the stork dropped me on this spinning ball of earth and water.

Driving up the coast to Picton is a fantastic way to appreciate that the stork chose a great planet. The road to Kaikoura runs alongside the ocean and there are plenty of places to stop and see such things as artistically arranged kelp and colonies of cute New Zealand fur seals (kekeno).

This guy was a complete poseur.

The seals are not too alarmed by the presence of humans, although I have in the past been alarmed by the too-close presence of an enormous male. They are surprisingly fast and have sharp teeth. Recently this colony was attacked and a number of seals were clubbed to death. I have no idea what sort of loser human would find this a fun activity. I hope karma comes along and tears them a new one, although if you ask me, karma can be too slow about dishing out the immediate justice that I'd prefer.

In Picton we had about an hour to eat, get unstinky from the hot car ride, change and then ready ourselves for some serious partying. It was my Uncle Mike's 60th. He has always been mad keen on boats.

It was a bit like being in Monaco, if you drop the average yacht value by about half a million dollars each. The food was fabulous, the wines were free flowing and there was (bad) dancing to 70's classics. Yes, you can Salsa to Fleetwood Mac, if the moment is right.

Parties are always a bit difficult in terms of keeping weightloss on track. My strategy is to avoid pre and post partying. That is, knowing I have a party to go to, and was travelling all day, it would have been all too easy to decide that the indulgences would start at lunchtime Saturday and finish when I got home, late Sunday. It's mindset that counts here. I let myself have whatever I wanted at the party and then ate in my usual manner the rest of the time, with a few compromises. After driving down the winding coast road I was feeling really queasy and in immediate danger of losing my Lara Bar, so we stopped for snackage and I ate scallops with quite a bit of rice and smothered in butter sauce. Usually I'd avoid that kind of carb-fest if I was planning on buttoning off the discipline in the evening, but my stomach needed something made of stodge to settle it. This worked. I did not hurl.

Weight was 57.6 on Saturday morning and 58.1 this morning, which is pretty much equilibrium. You can't get upset by a few ups and downs, in fact, it's best to expect the ups as well as the downs, especially when you've been eating salty party food, mostly made of wheat. It doesn't mean much, just a water fluctuation. The trick is to not panic about it. In people that are prone to emotional eating, panic can actually trigger more eating, which can turn a three-day bloat into actual fatgain. If I need a dose of logic I think about the calories, probably the only time I DO think about calories these days. If I gained a kg, did I eat 7000 more calories than usual? No? Ok, I didn't gain a kg of fat then.

On Sunday we drove all the way home - it's about 5 hours - and checked the vege patch which had, of course, gone completely feral being unattended for one day. You know.. anyone can grow a straight courgette... It takes a special type of green thumb to grow a lucky, horseshoe one.

Then, yesterday, along came VALENTINES DAY *insert hearts, baby fur seals and flowers here*. We went out for lunch at the chocolate shop Theobroma, which seemed to be the most romantic lunching place at Westfield, which is near The Programmer's work.

Later, I opened the door to a massive flower arrangement.

And then my super clever man even fixed my email, though there was swearing involved and much Programmerish mumbling about other peoples poxy software. It must be love. :D

I hope your weekend and Valentines day were equally as wonderful. I'd also love to hear about your techniques for handling parties without suffering waistline-related regret. Please feel free to Comment Me your strategies.