'Roons

This is one of those weight-related posts that bore me to tears when they turn up on other people's blogs. Which just goes to show that everyone is allowed a little hypocrisy now and then.

I noted last week that since the arrival of the Fam, I've been having some trouble keeping my weight down.  It's been several years since I saw the wrong side of 60kg, but last Sunday I was 59.9, which caused much self-analysis. The thing is, as an ex-chubby, I do have to watch it a little bit when it comes to eating, that's just the way it is, no biggie.  Today, after switching that food-awareness part of my brain back on I'm back at 58.8, which is less.. disturbing. However, I'm well aware now that I can't slip into mindless munching just because the house is suddenly full of swiss chocolate. 

Not to mention, today my brother-in-law turned up with more irresistible goodies:

Swiss macaroons, delivered by a grinning swiss miss. Who could resist?

You'd have to be made of stone..

Yummy. Let's just call it a 'nearly finished that assignment from hell' treat and move right along now..

Hearts, parties and curly courgettes

Last weekend The Programmer and I ditched all adult responsibilities and took off to be 'the kids' for a couple of days - as always happens in the company of relatives that have (in my case) known me since the day the stork dropped me on this spinning ball of earth and water.

Driving up the coast to Picton is a fantastic way to appreciate that the stork chose a great planet. The road to Kaikoura runs alongside the ocean and there are plenty of places to stop and see such things as artistically arranged kelp and colonies of cute New Zealand fur seals (kekeno).

This guy was a complete poseur.

The seals are not too alarmed by the presence of humans, although I have in the past been alarmed by the too-close presence of an enormous male. They are surprisingly fast and have sharp teeth. Recently this colony was attacked and a number of seals were clubbed to death. I have no idea what sort of loser human would find this a fun activity. I hope karma comes along and tears them a new one, although if you ask me, karma can be too slow about dishing out the immediate justice that I'd prefer.

In Picton we had about an hour to eat, get unstinky from the hot car ride, change and then ready ourselves for some serious partying. It was my Uncle Mike's 60th. He has always been mad keen on boats.

It was a bit like being in Monaco, if you drop the average yacht value by about half a million dollars each. The food was fabulous, the wines were free flowing and there was (bad) dancing to 70's classics. Yes, you can Salsa to Fleetwood Mac, if the moment is right.

Parties are always a bit difficult in terms of keeping weightloss on track. My strategy is to avoid pre and post partying. That is, knowing I have a party to go to, and was travelling all day, it would have been all too easy to decide that the indulgences would start at lunchtime Saturday and finish when I got home, late Sunday. It's mindset that counts here. I let myself have whatever I wanted at the party and then ate in my usual manner the rest of the time, with a few compromises. After driving down the winding coast road I was feeling really queasy and in immediate danger of losing my Lara Bar, so we stopped for snackage and I ate scallops with quite a bit of rice and smothered in butter sauce. Usually I'd avoid that kind of carb-fest if I was planning on buttoning off the discipline in the evening, but my stomach needed something made of stodge to settle it. This worked. I did not hurl.

Weight was 57.6 on Saturday morning and 58.1 this morning, which is pretty much equilibrium. You can't get upset by a few ups and downs, in fact, it's best to expect the ups as well as the downs, especially when you've been eating salty party food, mostly made of wheat. It doesn't mean much, just a water fluctuation. The trick is to not panic about it. In people that are prone to emotional eating, panic can actually trigger more eating, which can turn a three-day bloat into actual fatgain. If I need a dose of logic I think about the calories, probably the only time I DO think about calories these days. If I gained a kg, did I eat 7000 more calories than usual? No? Ok, I didn't gain a kg of fat then.

On Sunday we drove all the way home - it's about 5 hours - and checked the vege patch which had, of course, gone completely feral being unattended for one day. You know.. anyone can grow a straight courgette... It takes a special type of green thumb to grow a lucky, horseshoe one.

Then, yesterday, along came VALENTINES DAY *insert hearts, baby fur seals and flowers here*. We went out for lunch at the chocolate shop Theobroma, which seemed to be the most romantic lunching place at Westfield, which is near The Programmer's work.

Later, I opened the door to a massive flower arrangement.

And then my super clever man even fixed my email, though there was swearing involved and much Programmerish mumbling about other peoples poxy software. It must be love. :D

I hope your weekend and Valentines day were equally as wonderful. I'd also love to hear about your techniques for handling parties without suffering waistline-related regret. Please feel free to Comment Me your strategies.

Creaky joints inc.

I may be a 21st century being, living in a world of convenience food and computer inactivity but, as yet, my soul does not live in a bio-jar. My body, so says Dr Adamo, is full of ancient genes that prefer to get up in the morning, hunt down breakfast, gather a few bits of grass on the way back to cave and then do it all again later. Failure to live in tune with my caveman DNA will cause my body to rebel with decreased immunity, stress related disorders, increased fatness and other problems, such as stupid arthritis.

A month or so ago, I started off with a hiss and a roar on the Arthritis - fight it with the Blood Type Diet book. The force was with me. When I studied Psycho-cybernetics a few years ago I learned that human motivation basically boils down to pleasure and pain. We are wired to gravitate towards pleasure and away from pain and out of the two, the drive to avoid pain is the stronger. As a food related example, when I had kidney disease, eating or drinking certain foods, or too much of any food, caused intense pain. For the six weeks before surgery I ate practically nothing but veges and eggs, no motivation required. It's an aversion reaction. Now, I've got the same thing with the arthritis diet. It's easy because I have a strong motivation - avoiding arthritis pain now and in the future. And besides that, it's just not a hard diet.

The idea is, basically, to avoid foods which can cause a negative reaction with my blood group, which is type O negative. This includes most grains (especially wheat) and legumes, acidic fruits, most dairy products and certain random veges like cauliflower and potatoes. I'm not exactly sure how this blood sensitivity has been determined but I'm looking into it. It seems to be some sort of serology, testing blood plasma against antigens. As long as the whole thing is not based on dodgy 'muscle testing' then I'm ok with it. It makes some sense in my pea-brain that blood type is important to individual biochemistry. Look at how strongly the human system reacts if, for example, transfused with the wrong blood type! I also discovered that Dr Adamo has gone further into the new field of Nutrigenomics with The Genotype Diet and had to investigate it. The Genotype Diet refines the four Blood Types into 6 Genotypes and it's a slightly complicated procedure to figure out which one you are. You have to measure your body parts to figure out such things as which is longer, torso or legs? upper leg or lower leg? index finger or ring finger?. You examine your fingerprints, the shape of your head and your jawline for clues and then at the end, you may or may not know which Genotype you actually are. In the end, I was confused, still not entirely sure if I'm a 'Hunter' or an 'Explorer', so I decided to go back to the standard old Blood Type Diet. At least I know I'm a type O negative. In my opinion, if you are thinking of discovering your Genotype, then it would be helpful to get some lab tests done first. In particular, you should know your rhesus and secretor status. Secretor status refers to whether your blood type can be detected in your saliva. 20% of us are 'non-secretors' and this becomes important when nailing down your Genotype.

After a couple of hairy weeks adjusting to the lack of carbs and caffeine, I'm beginning to feel quite perky. I had to brainstorm how to make this work in the real world, or at least, in MY slightly crazy little life. My next post will be about the nitty gritty of daily life as a wheat-free, nightshade-free, dairy-free, potato-free healthnut (nuts are ok). I've invented some compliant snacks, which consist primarily of rice protein and nut butters, and embraced food substitutions all-round. I have not been counting calories because I knew that in order to tighten up the food options, I'd better let something give or my brain might short-circuit and I'd find myself inside out and living in the freezer because that's where the icecream is. In terms of results, I'm quietly optimistic. I was not expecting to notice anything for at least three months, but there has been early progress. Certain movements that were painful, such as lifting my leg into my jeans, are now painless and that makes me say bwahahaha to stupid arthritic joints. Also, the scales have finally made it off my blacklist by telling me nice things like 'you look great, Sara. Have you lost a kg? Why YES you have'. Perhaps they want to be my facebook friend?

Hungry

Yesterday, I overate. Actually, it was a food binge.. of sorts. I ate a heap of miscellaneous carby things, including three bowls of cereal in quick succession. In one of them I actually crumbled up a chocolate brownie (inventive!). Mid third bowl I realised what I was doing and grabbed my journal to figure out why I suddenly had the urge to stuff my face. And the weirdest thing? I'd just returned home from dinner at my sisters house, where I had shunned the pizza and happily ate my healthy and delicious meal that I had previously stored in her freezer. All that virtue.. and then.. an attack of the killer carbs. But, if there is to be a positive side to this slip up (and, why not?), it's that I have finally got to the point where I can ask myself 'why did I do that?' and the responding side of myself usually has a sensible answer that does not end with 'and, because you suck'

The thing is, I'm in a bit of an unstable time, personally and it is becoming clear that I still have many skills to learn as regards dealing with my emotions. I'm seriously considering leaving my job at the factory (nb: for those that may not know the background, this is not related to Sana Direct). The process very much like considering leaving a bad relationship. I know it's bad, but is it fixable? I've invested 5 years of heart and soul into it, it was my dream job, members of my family have a lot money invested there, can I really just walk away and leave it unprotected to inevitably sink down the gurgler along with the staff and loyal (but currently very dissatisfied and pissed off) customers? It's become a question, not of 'what is better?' but, 'what would be worse - to stay or to leave?' It's exactly like the process of considering a romantic break-up. Emotional. Heaps of indecision, conclusion, questioning that conclusion and then procrastinating a little bit longer in the hope that things will improve. I considered going into some detail here and dishing out the dirt for public scrutiny (ah, it would feel so good to do that), and if this was an anonymous blog, I surely would because it's an interesting story, full of drama, but you'll just have to be satisfied with the condensed version. Currently, daily life at the factory is like studying for a qualification that has a minor in solid business practice and a major in bitching and moaning with a few papers like 'lack of communication 101' and 'looking the other way 202.141'. As someone who likes to face the issues, air the issues and take action, I'm consistently frustrated and this frustration is what drove my eating last night. At least I can identify that and, with a bit of awareness, develop more appropriate strategies for dealing with that icky feeling and the equally icky situation for which there is currently no clear resolution (run away screaming? tempting. Paint 'help me' on the roof and sit awaiting rescue? Also tempting, but probably overkill)

I woke up this morning 800g heavier than yesterday, which I consider to be getting off lightly and elected to take a day off just to sort out my thoughts. It was going to be half a day, but then I discovered that I've left my car keys at my sisters house (Jase drove home using his keys to my car) and so I'm not going anywhere. I'm reading a book at the moment called The Hungry Years which has been really helpful as I deal with my tendency to eat when I face a situation that I find emotionally intense - usually this would be when I face insecurity or change (both of which I face if I leave my day job). I've heard it before, said it before, and even claimed to understand it, but now I'm really getting it on a new level how binge eating is like using a drug to anaesthetise yourself (myself) in an emotionally painful situation. A huge amount of food, especially carbs, does do something to the brain that makes an emotional situation recede. Also, during the binge I was thinking not about my feelings, but about food I was eating, or planning to eat next. After the binge, I was not thinking about my feelings immediately, but I was thinking about the food I just ate and what this would do to the size of my thighs. It worked as a distraction and a release from the unrelenting tortured thoughts, but it's a negative in other obvious ways and doesn't actually help me sort myself out!

In the next few days I will write a review on The Hungry Years, but in the meantime, if you are looking for a good read, check out the articles from the Hungry Years site, here.