Moving on, baby steps, just doing stuff....

This morning I got up and went for another run up the hill, pushing myself harder than I have for probably four years and it felt fabulous. Then I had the urge for a chai latte and drove to the mall for a Starbucks fix. Walking around the mall, I was thinking about the person I used to be when I was happy and my life was buzzing along. Before I went to work in the factory, I used to be a manager for The PC Company' and was interested in gadgets and technical stuff as well as enjoying the daily interactions of the job. It got a bit stressful right before the company went into liquidation, but generally it was fun and I was making enough money to feel independent. I'm considering a move back to IT. Unless I go into retail, it will require some retraining, but I'm just musing at the moment, no pressure.

I visited the shops that sell cool gadgets and just enjoyed the vibe of being out in the mall, feeling almost normal. I went to Borders looking for a camera magazine. Now that I don't have a resident camera guru, I really need to learn how to do stuff for myself (this is true in many areas) and it's kind of frustrating. I've got absolutely no idea why my Nikon D70 automatically pops up the flash in macro mode and then won't even take the picture. No clues at all, but I'll figure that out - and many other things as well. I didn't buy a camera mag because I couldn't decide on one, but I did get a psychology magazine. The human mind is fascinating to me and reading about the workings of the brain helps understand myself, especially as I negotiate this time of intensive change.

Mag in hand, I was heading back to the car and passed the Gong Li massage stall. I've always wondered if they were any good, so I plonked $25 and discovered the genius hands of a little Asian man that didn't seem to speak much English, or maybe he was shy. Having studied massage in the past, and worked as a massage therapist, I know a good massage and this guy knows his stuff. There is an almost psychic connection between a good massage therapist and the client. I remember, after a few years of studying massage, I could pinpoint where someone was tight as soon as they got onto the table and the client would always ask me how I knew where they were sore. This guy had that instant ability to find the areas that needed the most attention and I floated out of there with my mind clear for the first time in a week and my shoulders relaxed for the first time in months.

Today my plan is to finish the research part of my Business Communications assignment, then spend some more time with my camera, then do some more thinking and researching about my career and plans for the future. My first priority is to get myself stabilised with a place to live. At the moment I'm feeling a bit displaced staying in my sisters empty house. On the 10th I'll be going back to my old home for a while and Jason will stay with his parents while we sort out the financials of becoming .. er.. 'old flames'. It's a big chunk of life to file away - furniture, clothes, books, memories, I have to find a place for them all.